Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sunglasses At Night

And I wear my sunglasses at night, 
So I can, So I can 
See the light that's right before my eyes…

The first time it happened I was stunned. It was some stupid Facebook argument and people were venomous. The ignorance and self-righteousness flowed freely. It’s as if their anonymity gave license to nastiness.

Social media in general seems to bring out the worst in people. I am constantly amazed at the audacity of the Facebook comments, especially on local news events. Besides just plain stupidity, the malice and spite delighting those who make it public, is an insult to the senses.

This phenomenon actually has a name. Psychologists call it deindividuation. It is generally thought of as the losing of self-awareness when in groups. Wearing a mask or even a uniform, can make some cease to recognize even themselves as an individual. Consequently they stop seeing others as individuals and don’t recognize that their actions could hurt someone. It can happen to anyone.

Unfortunately, drama is a fact of life. I don’t do drama very well. But if someone, especially an adult, attacks someone dear to me, they might see the full theatrical effect of a Tasmanian Devil, given the right circumstances. Kid drama is something else though; something that little kids work through. It’s part of growing up. Adults don’t need to interfere except in dire circumstances.

Here’s a story. We live outside of town. My daughter had a lot of friends and got along with most everyone. But of course, there were the typical squabbles that happen between friends. One day she came in the house, crying. The mother of another girl drove her daughter and a third little girl to our house. When she arrived she called my daughter over. As she got to the car the woman had the other two girls get out and yell, scream and call her names. When they were finished she loaded them back into the car and went back to town. Furious didn’t even begin to describe the emotion I felt.

Because I don’t like controversy I did nothing. In retrospect, I should have confronted her as soon as I found out it happened. But I didn’t. One day I got my chance. It was a spirit day for some event at school, sunglass day, where everyone was allowed to wear sunglasses to show they were supporting their team. I was decked out in my dark glasses when I saw her. There was the woman who dared come to MY house to let her girls yell at MY daughter. I no longer had a rose colored view of the world as I looked through my dark glasses. I saw red.

In kicked my deindividuation. She was no longer an individual, caring mother of a child. I saw her as the she-devil shrew she was. And I was fearless. I was brave because I had my sunglasses on. I was invisible, and invincible.

I walked over to her. She greeted me in her falsetto, I’m everyone’s best friend voice and that’s when I did it. I got close, pointed my finger in her face and said, “Don’t you EVER come to my house again.” That’s all. Then I walked away. I was shaking. I couldn’t believe I’d done it. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t scream. I didn’t punch her in her smug conceited face. But somehow I felt better.

Later I heard what an awful person I was to make that poor sweet woman cry. She had been so upset she’d had to leave the building. I was so mean. And I wondered, if the whole story had been known, who would have been thought to be the real bully here.

I didn’t care what they thought. Karma is a bitch…and so was she.

While, she's deceiving me, 
It cuts my security… 

I got this lovely box from a sweet friend. It is full of all kinds of things from needles and gadgets to yarn. What fun! Thank you Sunni D!

I’m still working on different knitting projects; a scarf, the camo vest, the Quaker yarn stretcher. And I want to start something else! I must have knitting ADHD and the only cure is to start something else! Now I need to get a case of ‘finishistis’, put my sun glasses on and get to knitting.

And I wear my sunglasses at night 
So I can, So I can 
Keep track of the visions in my eyes


  1. I'm so glad you put that mean lady in her place... even if it took sunglasses to do it!!

  2. I put up with this horrible woman and her daughter (homeschool group) doing that to my sons and me for a few years!!! When I finally stood up to them we were told to leave the group!!! We were asked back the next year and I sucked it up and went back!! But by the last day of that year, I realized things were going back downhill, so we left. At that point everyone else was starting to see what they were and the group disbanded!! The hard feelings remain to this day (9 years later). And I still see both of them as purely evil!!!