Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Say what you wanna say 
And let the words fall out. 
Honestly I wanna see you be brave!

There we were, gathered in the ‘Take a Break’, our version of an employee lounge. It was a birthday celebration and someone brought a delightful cake for all to share. I deposited the half piece on my party plate and placed a luscious bite in my mouth. That’s when she said, “That’s why you look the way you do”.

I jumped on the chair, glared down at her and said, “Yes, people do mistake me for you all the time. Mind your own business, you hateful wench!”

But really, as I choked down that one bite and all joy I’d had from the taste, I quietly put the rest in the trash and left the room. She won.

The meeting was going well. Ideas were being discussed and plans were solidifying. There was a question about a grant. That’s when he said, “I’d rather deal with terrorists and snipers than your program”. Several people smiled and a few even broke into spontaneous laughter.

I didn’t find it funny. But I smiled, like the rest, and sweetly said, “Oh yeah? Well, stick it in your ear or your nose or anywhere else that might be convenient!”

That’s what I said in my head. Actually my feelings were really hurt. And I was embarrassed. But I smiled with the rest and acted like I agreed. He won.

It was supposed to be a pep talk. The door was closed and the right things were being said. Then out came, “Have I ever lied to you?”

Jumping up I screamed, “How the heck should I know? Does ommitance count?” But like the good girl I am, I didn’t mention specifics. Instead, I politely replied with the expected, “No.” She won.

Why is it not acceptable to say what I think, what I want to say? Why can’t I defend myself? It wouldn’t have to be snarky. I could keep it polite, not bringing myself down to their level. But I don’t contradict. I don’t make waves. And sadly, the word bullies win.

I have three little granddaughters. I love them dearly and want the best as they become young ladies. I hope they are able to stand up for themselves and what they think is right without ridicule or insults. I want them to be strong but kind, to be assertive but gracious and to be articulate but polite. I want them to be brave. I want them to defeat the word bullies.

Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy.
Fallen for the fear 
And done some disappearing, 
Bow down to the mighty.
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue!

Believe it or not there was a yarn bombing, right here in Odessa! Well, sort of anyway. It was at the Museum and it was their interpretation. I didn’t completely agree it was a true yarn bombing but it was fun anyway. Here’s a few pictures.

Wrapped up.
Bikini skater?
Kathy and Pippi Longstocking!
Someone's grandma is  missing an afghan!!
Borrowed from the living room couch?
Strange creatures in skirts!
Pole not dancing.
And here’s my own little yarn bomb on my deck. Because I can.
My own private yarn bomb!
And since your history of silence 
Won’t do you any good, 
Did you think it would? 
Let your words be anything but empty.
Why don’t you tell them the truth?


  1. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!? Unbelievable. Your granddaughters and those of us lucky enough to be your friends know your beauty, graciousness, humor and bravery. Keep taking the high road, it suits you. (Until your last day... Then tell them all what you really think of them. Ha!)

  2. I am constantly amazed by how rude people can be to others. Sorry you have to deal with so many of them!

    I love the strange little creatures with skirts on the yarn bombing and your personal porch yarn bombing.

    Bomb on!!

  3. I have tried, some while and got described as an aggressive woman. I think a man would have been described as assertive. I couldn't win. Now I'm retired to my burrow, I fume that I have become so passive, so disappointed but I don't get so cross

  4. That would count as yarn bombing in my part of the world. I think women are inherently prevented from finding the right reposte at the right moment and that is why we either come across as too passive or over the top. We take it too often then we just snap. I know it's not the right way but it happens. Perhaps we can encourage our daughters and grand daughters to answer back more often and then they will be able to come back at people in a measured way that is not only more effective but avoids occasional messy explosions

  5. Hi - and Holly Day cheers and a Happy New Year to you too! I don't always look in my stats... but either you or someone else from your place made a visit...

    So here I am... Two grandchildren and busy as ever later. Where does the time go?

    I used to be quiet. And I suppose there is a time and place... but now I just open up my face. I can trust those who will accept me as I am. Poet, writer, wife, mother, friend. As for those who choose to use the wrong words incorrectly - I'll let them know most of the time. But sometimes it is best if one wants to save face to say nothing... just don't let 'it' eat you. And enjoy your cake.

    For when I did need to keep some part time jobs I had I did not speak. Other times I tried to speak to management... But when I was able, I told a few bullies off and quit jobs.

    Sometimes people just have very little in the brains department regarding sensitivity or intelligence.

    Wishing you peaceful resolutions and a Happy New Year!