Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick or Treat

Smell my feet!
Give me something good to eat!

Give me candy. Give me cake.
Give me something good to take.

Hey! It worked!
Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Time is on My Side

Time is on my side, yes it is.
Time is on my side, yes it is.

Time is on my side. Or so I thought! But it seems like no matter how hard I try, lately there is not enough time in my day to do all the things I want (and need) to do. Time isn’t waiting for me. It’s passing me by.

I stopped at the grocery store and I became my mother. Then my grandmother, and my mamaw. All of the prominent female influences in my life combined and took over my body and my mind. I find myself looking for the bargains and not buying something I want because it’s too expensive. Or maybe I will buy it and I’ll store the leftovers in the refrigerator and drag them out until there’s not enough for anyone to eat. I’ll find it later, forgotten and green, in a plastic container. Or I’ll look at cookbooks and magazines trying to find something new to try then I’ll get the stuff to make the same old thing I always make. When did I become like that?

I think about my daughter, my beautiful 30 year old daughter, and I wonder how it happened that she is already grown. She doesn’t know it, but she is me. She’s the mom with three little kids trying to juggle all the things she has to do and still find time for her. She’s the one who worries that her kids will do well in school or be liked by their peers. She’s the one who tries to please everyone and is disappointed because it seems she always misses the target. She’s the one who worries that she’s too fat, too gray, too old.

I think about my parents and wonder who they are, because they are little old people now, not the mom and dad I know. I worry about their health, their feelings, their welfare. I hope they remember to take the right medicine and call the doctor if needed. I worry that they will be lonely. I think back to when my grandparents were the old people, the old people we thought we’d never lose. But we did lose them and time still went on.

I think about my life and how my thoughts and opinions and actions have changed over the years. I’m not who I was but I’m not who I’ll be. I think about how fast the days pass now. My newborn baby grandson will be eight years old on his birthday. And I wonder where the time goes. I cherish his hugs and when he asks for me and just wants to be with me, because I’m his Mamye. And I know in a short while it will change. He’ll be busy. Then he’ll be the 30 year old. My daughter will be where I am now and I’ll be my mother.

Finally things will slow down. I’ll become my great grandmother who told me the weekends were the worst. She said she could find things to keep her busy during the week. She had phone calls and visits, her knitting and her soap operas to occupy her time. But Sunday she was usually alone. She would cook enough for two or three but nobody came to share her food. She would sit and wait for anyone to drop by but they never came. She said it was the longest and hardest day of the week.

A friend once told me I was on the downside of life. He said we (because we are the same age) are closer to the end then the beginning. That’s a sobering thought! Lately the notion of retiring has crossed my mind. Once I could never imagine not working. But now I count the days until the weekend, when I can do what I want to do, not what I have to do. The things I have to do get done, but at my own pace. Yes, time is on my side. I’m just not sure which side.

Now you always say
That you want to be free,
But you'll come running back.
You'll come running back.
You'll come running back to me…

How many scarves and shawls are too many for one person? I’ve probably reached the limit. But what happened this cold scarf weather morning when I was looking for just the right one to complement my fashionable ensemble? That’s right. There was none. I’m partial to variegated, as evidenced by the picture, so I have more options.

Still, nothing seemed to work. I could either not find a shirt to match a scarf or not find a scarf to match a shirt. Finally, after multiple wardrobe malfunctions, I found a combination that worked. And as I was searching I was planning more projects to supplement the gaps I noticed. It will only take a little time, right? And time, is on my side. Yes it is.

Well, time is on my side, yes it is.
Time is on my side, yes it is...

Monday, October 17, 2011

In My Room…

There's a world where I can go, 
And tell my secrets to. 
In my room, 
In my room… 

I watch HGTV. Not all the time and not if there’s something better on. All the shows run together for me. I don’t know if I’m watching House Hunters or Divine Design. It amazes me how they can come in and do a makeover (for a mere $75000.00), and change the look of the whole house. I wonder how they find those extra, always perfect, tables and chairs, stuck in the garage or the basement, that they drag up to replace other furniture or an empty spot.

What does get my attention, though, is when they do an ‘outdoor room’. An outdoor room is basically a space outside, small or large, that you fix up to be comfortable. It can be for you or a gathering place for family. It’s usually connected to your house but because it’s outside, it’s connected to nature, as well. Most are sheltered, maybe by a wall of the house, and some of them have their own roofs and walls. Some are just fenced in areas. Some have full kitchens. I think of them as a private space, to which you can retreat and become comfortable, with or without guests.
The door to the deck

I have an outdoor room. Really it’s a deck outside the master bedroom. Our house is not traditional in the fact that the front door is upstairs. We have a fabulous covered front deck, running the full length of the house. My husband built seats in the railing and built a wall for a windbreak. It’s great in the morning. But it faces west. In the afternoon it’s unbearable. So he built another deck on the east side.
Built in seats on front the rain!

This deck isn’t as big and it doesn’t have seats built in the rail. It is covered and has the same southern windbreak wall. I’m turning it into my outdoor room. HGTV would most likely air it as what not to do!
The wall and some chickens.

We found an old daybed at a thrift store. Then I got some dollar store sheets and covered the mattress. The whole thing is covered with pillows, thrift and Goodwill. (If you wash them you can recover or just use as they are. And because they are outside and going to fade in the sun they didn’t have to be designer!) The other side of the deck has a bench with some cushions left over from something. There is a table with two chairs and a small chair with owls on it. I planted some Iris in an ugly tub, and they are actually growing. There’s a trumpet vine that has climbed up the house and is spreading across the rail. I hung wind chimes that tinkle in the breeze, or, when it’s really windy, blow out over the yard.
Daybed with thriftstore pillows.
Bench on opposite side of deck
Table and chairs (and junk under the stove!)
The little owl chair...for little kids...and the truck in the background
Iris in the ugly tub. Seashell souvenirs.
Trumpet vine growing across rail
Old stove...for?
Wind chimes
I like to sit out there, in the morning on my days off or in the afternoon when I come in from work. I guess it’s silly, but it’s my room. Surely not HGTV but it’s my place and I can lock out the rest of the world.
Funny hummingbird whose wings spin in the wind

In this world I lock out 
All my worries and my fears. 
In my room, 
In my room… 

I found a cool little place online called Our Creative Spaces. You can link to your projects and visit others great crafts.Check it out and see what great things are over there!
Chickadee cowl in progress
I’m ready for full on fall. Ninety-five degrees in October is not fall. I like fall because it’s sweater weather. Not too cold and not too hot and a sweater is just fine. And of course, being a knitter, it’s even better. I gravitate to the fall colored yarn. I started a cowl, with three different fall colored yarns.
Three different yarns...
It’s interesting to see how it’s working up. I like it so far. It’s a Chickadee cowl, but instead of using chunky yarn I’m using sock yarn. Of course if I finish anytime soon it will be too hot to wear. But I’ll be ready for that first chilly morning! I may even go out on the deck before work, just to try it out.
Going to be pretty!
Do my dreaming and my scheming. 
Lie awake and pray. 
Do my crying and my sighing, 
Laugh at yesterday… 
In my room, in my room…

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Two Tickets to Paradise

I've got two tickets to paradise, 
Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight…

Haven’t you heard stories, on the news or maybe even read about people who just disappear? Someone might go to work then never come home. Or maybe it’s time to go to the store or school and that’s the last time you’re seen. Some, I know, fall victim to mean people who kidnap or kill then hide the bodies. Some are in bad situations and have help to vanish so they can live. Some are just people who don’t want to be where, or who, they are anymore.

Surely it’s crossed your mind. What if you just kept driving? What if instead of getting on the plane and coming back to reality you decide just to stay wherever you are and start another life? What if? What if?

I’ll admit it’s crossed my mind. I wouldn’t mind just being somewhere else. Maybe just for a day or even a week. Or maybe just being someone else. Sometimes I just want to go where there are no worries and no cares. Paradise.

Out of curiosity I did a search on the Internet. There are actually instructions on how to just fade away, vanish, without a trace. No records, no identification, no history. Is that how people do it? What would it feel like to have no history? No background? Probably wouldn’t be much fun. Or maybe it would be a lot of fun. Who knows? 

Really, I have nothing to complain about. I have a good life, but it’s been one of ‘those’ weeks. Wait…I mean months. I’m ready to go. Where is Paradise? I don’t know. But I have two tickets. Would you like to join me?  

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here, 
I've got two tickets in my pocket, now baby, we're gonna disappear. 
We've waited so long, waited so long.  

I made a Citron a while back. Probably a long while back since I tend to make and not block things. It was small and I was a little disappointed but I dug it out and decided to block it to see if I could make it bigger. I wet it and pinned it out and decided I’m a sloppy blocker. It stretched but the Citron is supposed to have these little puckers and I stretched some of the puckers. It’s still not big but it’s okay. It looks fine folded up like a scarf, too.
In progress
Back of Citron
Kind of cute as a scarf!
I am in awe of the people who stretch things out meticulously. I don’t have the patience. Actually I think I don’t have the knowledge. That would involve measuring and math, both of which I’m not fond. But it’s done now, even with the ends worked in!
Half-a** blocking. And it's not red, more maroon and pink and brown!

I’m ready for it to be fall. I like the colors and I found a little felted bag I made out of some yarn from our trip to Vermont a couple of years ago. It will be perfect for keys, I.D. and such when you just need a couple of things. It will fit inside a bigger bag then I’ll have what I need but I won’t have to carry all of it everywhere.
Felted bag. Fall colored yarn!
And finally, I’m almost through with the Halloween blankie for the littles. It’s not big either but it will be fun. I made some giant hairy spiders out of old chenille yarn I had hanging around. They have a buttonhole so they can be buttoned on to things. I had some odd orange buttons so I sewed them to the blanket and buttoned the spiders on. That way they can take those off if they want and play with them! I still need to make two or three more spiders and it will be done.
Hairy spider! Tarantula or Black Widow?
Halloween blankie for the Littles!

I think I’ll go pack. Some clothes, some yarn and I’m set!
Got a surprise especially for you, 
Something that both of us have always wanted to do. 
We've waited so long, waited so long. 
Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight, 
I've got two tickets to paradise…