Time is on My Side

Time is on my side, yes it is.

Time is on my side, yes it is.

Time is on my side. Or so I thought! But it seems like no matter how hard I try, lately there is not enough time in my day to do all the things I want (and need) to do. Time isn’t waiting for me. It’s passing me by.

I stopped at the grocery store and I became my mother. Then my grandmother, and my mamaw. All of the prominent female influences in my life combined and took over my body and my mind. I find myself looking for the bargains and not buying something I want because it’s too expensive. Or maybe I will buy it and I’ll store the leftovers in the refrigerator and drag them out until there’s not enough for anyone to eat. I’ll find it later, forgotten and green, in a plastic container. Or I’ll look at cookbooks and magazines trying to find something new to try then I’ll get the stuff to make the same old thing I always make. When did I become like that?

I think about my daughter, my beautiful 30 year old daughter, and I wonder how it happened that she is already grown. She doesn’t know it, but she is me. She’s the mom with three little kids trying to juggle all the things she has to do and still find time for her. She’s the one who worries that her kids will do well in school or be liked by their peers. She’s the one who tries to please everyone and is disappointed because it seems she always misses the target. She’s the one who worries that she’s too fat, too gray, too old.

I think about my parents and wonder who they are, because they are little old people now, not the mom and dad I know. I worry about their health, their feelings, their welfare. I hope they remember to take the right medicine and call the doctor if needed. I worry that they will be lonely. I think back to when my grandparents were the old people, the old people we thought we’d never lose. But we did lose them and time still went on.

I think about my life and how my thoughts and opinions and actions have changed over the years. I’m not who I was but I’m not who I’ll be. I think about how fast the days pass now. My newborn baby grandson will be eight years old on his birthday. And I wonder where the time goes. I cherish his hugs and when he asks for me and just wants to be with me, because I’m his Mamye. And I know in a short while it will change. He’ll be busy. Then he’ll be the 30 year old. My daughter will be where I am now and I’ll be my mother.

Finally things will slow down. I’ll become my great grandmother who told me the weekends were the worst. She said she could find things to keep her busy during the week. She had phone calls and visits, her knitting and her soap operas to occupy her time. But Sunday she was usually alone. She would cook enough for two or three but nobody came to share her food. She would sit and wait for anyone to drop by but they never came. She said it was the longest and hardest day of the week.

A friend once told me I was on the downside of life. He said we (because we are the same age) are closer to the end then the beginning. That’s a sobering thought! Lately the notion of retiring has crossed my mind. Once I could never imagine not working. But now I count the days until the weekend, when I can do what I want to do, not what I have to do. The things I have to do get done, but at my own pace. Yes, time is on my side. I’m just not sure which side.

Now you always say

That you want to be free,

But you'll come running back.

You'll come running back.

You'll come running back to me…

How many scarves and shawls are too many for one person? I’ve probably reached the limit. But what happened this cold scarf weather morning when I was looking for just the right one to complement my fashionable ensemble? That’s right. There was none. I’m partial to variegated, as evidenced by the picture, so I have more options.

Still, nothing seemed to work. I could either not find a shirt to match a scarf or not find a scarf to match a shirt. Finally, after multiple wardrobe malfunctions, I found a combination that worked. And as I was searching I was planning more projects to supplement the gaps I noticed. It will only take a little time, right? And time, is on my side. Yes it is.

Well, time is on my side, yes it is.

Time is on my side, yes it is...

Mother, Mother If I was Your Mother

May 9 was my oldest DS’s birthday. Happy Birthday! This year it was also Mother’s Day. When Mother’s Day was named, the location of the apostrophe was specific. It was to be a singular possessive for each family to honor ‘their’ mother. It wasn’t meant to be a plural possessive to celebrate all mothers. The first Mother's Day observance was a church service in 1908. Anna Jarvis, a lady from Philadelphia, wanted to honor her deceased mother. When she was young she heard her mother express hope that a day to commemorate mothers could be established. Many days were dedicated to honor men but none were in place to honor mothers. After her mother's death, Jarvis and some of her friends started writing letters to declare a national Mother's Day observance. President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation on May 9, 1914, asking all Americans to give a demonstration of respect to mothers through the celebration of Mother's Day. Legislation was passed designating the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. Carnations are said to represent the day. As with most holidays it’s turned commercial which wasn’t the intent. I hope you remember the reason and took the time to honor your mother, whether it was a phone call or a visit or just a note. And I hope your family honored you.

Before you can be honored for Mother’s Day you have to be a mother. I am fortunate to be a mother to three wonderful kids. I don’t guess I can call them kids now because all three are grown, somewhat responsible adults. But they will always be my babies, my kids.

DH and I somehow had very smart kids. All three were valedictorian of their class. My DD was number one in her class but married and moved to Virginia the summer between her junior and senior year. Number two in her class was very relieved as he most likely could not have caught up, much less passed her in rank. So I think it’s fair that I count her as valedictorian as well. Anyway, she finished school in Virginia despite many obstacles, and managed to get a full scholarship to Old Dominion. So she’s deserving of the title.


DD amazes me sometimes. She has given us the gift of three wonderful grandkids. She’s a stay at home mom who bakes and decorates amazing cookies. She has a blog, but all of her pictures are on a flickr account. Be aware there are some more ‘colorful’ cookies on the flickr account! She does all of this with a two year old, a three year old and a six year old. To say she’s busy is an understatement. She does have a great husband. He’s great with the kids and even cleans house when needed!


The boys both attended Colorado School of Mines in Golden. Oldest DS graduated and youngest DS will graduate on May 14. It’s an engineering school. They talk about things I have no idea of. Their dad understands so I just sit and knit and stay quiet.

When the boys were little we were eating supper one night and had just seen the John Candy film, “Cool Runnings”, based on a Jamaican bobsled team trying to make it to the Olympics. The boys are discussing what they’d like to be when they grow up. Oldest DS says I want to be a volcanologist. I don’t even know what that means. Youngest DS says I want to be a bobsled racer! That is the difference in their personalities. Oldest DS is more serious. Youngest DS is not.

Funny to me but the oldest DS turned out to be a geophysical engineer. That’s in the same ballpark as a volcanologist! I guess he knew all along. He wants to get his masters in an overseas program. I guess it’s the right time because he’s unattached and young but it seems scary to me. It’s a two year program so maybe I’ll get a chance to visit during that time.


Youngest DS is excited and nervous to be graduated. Remember the feeling? Whether you were leaving high school or college, all of a sudden you’re a grown up. It’s a bit scary. He has many interviews but nothing nailed down yet. He’ll go anywhere and do anything. Another difference between the boys; oldest DS is an indoor worker and particular while youngest DS is an outdoor worker. He will get a job and they will be lucky to have him.


I was prepared for a nice day at home. Oldest DS drove down so we can all go to Colorado next week for graduation. DD and her family had plans to spend the day at the park with a picnic. But the weather didn’t cooperate so we all met, except for youngest DS, at a restaurant in Odessa. It was a fun time. It was a favorite restaurant. The food was a little disappointing for some reason. But the company made up for it.

Youngest DS called. Oldest DS found a great ‘yarny’ present for me. When we were visiting him in Oklahoma we went to a thrift store. I found a great granny square blanket I wanted. I didn’t pick it up right then and forgot until we were far away from the store. He went back and got it for me. He also found a book called “The Museum of Kitschy Stitches: A Gallery of Notorious Knits”. It’s a classic! DD and family gave me their company.


My kids aren’t perfect by a long shot. But they are good kids. I don’t know that it’s anything that their dad or I did but I hope they think so. I don’t know that it’s anything my mother taught me, or her mother taught her. I’m not sure what it takes to be a good mother. I’m lucky I guess, that they turned out so well. And thankful.

The knitayear is coming along. I don’t know how long this is going to be! I’m splitting mine up but it’s still going to be very long. I like the project and some of the sections I look at and remember exactly why I chose that yarn. Others are fuzzy (no pun intended!) but I can read back and remember. The blogging part is definitely the harder part. May 8 was a cold cloudy day. I chose a yarn that’s kind of fuzzy but has a bright colored velour strip as well. This day made me feel kind of melancholy and the yarn seemed to represent that feeling. Mother’s day was a good day. I realized how lucky I am to have a great mother and to have great kids and to have a great family overall. I used a ribbon yarn, soft colors, pink, greenish yellow and blue threads held with a solid tan. The tan represents the strength of the family unit and the colors the different personalities of the kids. They are different but they are alike and we’re all tied together no matter what. Monday was spent teaching the doctors and employees of TTUHSC. It’s always a fun day because they are nice and want to learn. I didn’t know what I would have to offer doctors when they first approached me but I’ve found out they are eager for anything I can give them. Interesting how people can be smart in different ways. The yarn is a brown and white yarn with little white ‘poofs’ along the strand. I was very tired but anxious also because of the trip to Colorado coming up. The tan in this case was a calming color with the white signifying the little bits of excitement that were all along the way. It’s hard to believe that this day is the 40th day of the knitayear. It seems to have gone fast. Mothers...celebrate your kids.


When love is blood you`re never on trial.
Love don`t get deeper than a mother & child

Mother, mother
If I was your mother