King of Nothing

When I was 17, I dreamed of being king. And having everything I wanted. 

How about Queen? It’s still of nothing. Normally it doesn’t bother me that I’m just a worker-bee. After all, what would all the Kings get done if it weren’t for the worker-bees? Probably not much. Their job isn’t to do the work. It’s to get the credit. Have they earned that status? Some, yes. Most, no.

 

There is definitely a hierarchy where I work. And when you are at the bottom you are reminded, continuously. It may not be overtly, but it is definitely in a most nebulous fashion. Take today for instance. We were told we had visitors in the building and if they came by your area to please help welcome them.

I had been working on a large project most of the morning. I stepped out to warm my cold coconut coffee, (you don’t waste those little K-Cup things), and said hello to a fellow worker. We had just completed a joint project and we caught up on that, then drifted to some chit chat. I was preparing to return to my office when the tour came through the hall and stopped at a poster hanging in her window. The guide said, “let me introduce you to a very important person here, the coordinator of a notable state project.” She dutifully stepped into the hall. I dutifully stepped further into her office, out of the way.

At the end of an animated conversation with the group the guide prepared to move them along. She turned and said, “Don’t you need to introduce Jamye?” He hesitated and said, “Oh, yes, this is Jamye. She’s in charge of CTE. She’s in that office over there.” He pointed in the general direction and I spoke to the group and explained that CTE means Career and Technical Education. That was it. I was dismissed as they moved along.

Did I do this to myself by moving further into her office? Or am I conditioned to know my place? If she hadn’t spoken up I would have been completely ignored. Should I have rushed out with her and told them that what I do, even though I am Queen of Nothing, is just as important? I don’t know.

Why is it that someone who has a title thinks it’s unimportant for another to have one as well? I was reminded of a conversation with my then boss, years ago. I had to sign forms in the blank with a title even though I didn't hold that title. He said a title meant nothing. It was the quality of the work, etc., not a title that defines a person. Titles are unimportant. I, apparently in my smart *ss mode, asked, so instead of superintendent would it be okay to call you custodian? Interestingly enough, the story changed and a title suddenly meant something!

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I could pass that group in the hall and they wouldn’t know who I was. I will most likely never see any of them again. If I did, I’d have to introduce myself or be introduced again because none of them said their names. And in reality I have a title. I have lots of titles; Mom, Mamye, friend, daughter, wife, sister. They are all cherished. They also mean much more than a work title.

As my friend Lynn told me; your value doesn't decrease, because of someone’s inability to see your worth. Thank you Lynn. I’ve got to stop wearing my feelings on my sleeve!

But that was long ago and my dreams did not unfold, so I'm still the King of Nothing. 

We finally had our last Christmas this weekend. The littles came over. We ate and visited and opened presents then ate some more! It was a good time for all. There were a lot of presents and a birthday too! Evan turned 10. Seems impossible.

Christmas prime rib. Yummy!

Presents and cousins. Belle was hiding!

The first grandchild is already ten years old!

Caleb asked me to make him a scarf. He wanted green and blue with hot pink on the ends. I had some bright colored green, blue and yellow yarn and he thought that might work! He liked it. It’s always good when someone appreciates your efforts!

Smashing! Handsome little dude, huh!

If I could rule, I'd dance my cares away, find romance everyday. 
I wouldn't have to listen to this poor fool say, "I'm the King, I'm the King, I'm the King of Nothing."

This Christmas

Hang all the mistletoe. 
I'm gonna get to know you better... 

Well, another Christmas over! Almost that is. It seems we got the flu for Christmas. So, because we wanted Callye and family to be safe, we haven’t met with them yet. But that can be something to look forward to.

This was, and not only in my opinion, a strange holiday for sure. Not really anything specific that could be named as the cause, just a multitude of small things.

Maybe it was the weather with the temperatures fluctuating daily. One day would be spring like, with temperatures in the high 70s and low 80s while the next day would be a cold, icy, wintery day, closing schools, businesses and roads, with temperatures in the 20s.

Ice pictures.

Maybe it was the shortened shopping time. According to my son, it was one Christmas shopping week shorter than normal. Add that to the homebound days and everyone just got that much further behind.

Maybe it was because Christmas was on a Wednesday. I guess it hasn’t really affected us before, but this time, since Christmas was in the middle of the week, people with regular jobs, (as not in education) had to work Thursday. So that messed up travel plans for many and made celebrating either before the actual holiday or after.

Whatever the reason, there were definitely some differences. The stockings weren’t hung by the chimney with care. That’s because we couldn’t find them. Not only were the stockings missing but the ornaments for the tree were also put away so well last year that they remained hidden for the season. The tree was up, with lights, and it was fine. Some odds and ends and new ornaments were added but the tree wasn’t really decorated. It was pretty, none the less, and nobody doubted that Santa would be there, regardless of the bare foliage.

There weren’t any presents under the tree. Not until almost Christmas Eve anyway. Usually I get some time off before Christmas. This time, the two days I had were spent shopping and planning for a weekend trip for one of the gatherings. The trunk of my car was full. That’s where the presents were.

We didn’t have a traditional Christmas dinner. We had a wonderful dinner but it wasn’t the customary fare. My thoughtful son brought a prime rib bigger than baby George! Since not everyone was going to be there we cut it in two pieces so we can enjoy the rest another time. Through a family phone chat the sides were to be fancy (to us), consisting of salad with grilled shrimp and feta, mashed loaded new potatoes, broccoli with hollandaise and chocolate cake that tasted like Rosa’s. (Rosa’s is a local Mexican food restaurant with outstanding chocolate cake.) Okay, not a problem!

George and dinner!

Somehow, like it always seems to, it came together to make a great holiday. New traditions, old traditions, and family, all mixing together to build memories. Merry Christmas, and to all a good night!

Merry Christmas!!

And as we trim the tree,
How much fun it's gonna be, together this Christmas...

With all that was going on there wasn’t much time for knitting. There were a couple more ruffly scarves to add to the stash and a short neck warmer as a secret pal gift. Also, there was an experiment that worked fairly well! I’d read about the arm knitting ‘craze’ and frankly, didn’t know that I’d ever do a thing with it. But then came the two ‘camo’ themed parties. I got some camo jeans and added a sparkly black top (for the season) to make a ‘party’ outfit. But it needed something to tie it together. So I gathered two army green colored yarns, paired with a worsted black and another with gold sparkles. It matched and tied the outfit together so I felt dressed for a party! And it was kind of fun.

Casting on, knitting, finished product!

So on Christmas day, after all the food and festivities, I asked my son if he still wanted me to make that scarf for his friend. I told him I could have it done before he left. Sure, he said skeptically. I grabbed some black velour, plain worsted black and black with the sparkles, some kind of flat tape yarn and a thin gold thread, cast on 4 stitches and finished in about 20 minutes. He was impressed! I hope his friend likes it.

Together and separate strands.

Come on, everybody shake a hand now. 
Family, and we’ll be together. 
To make this Christmas bright, yes, we will…

Twinkle Little Christmas Lights

Shining on the tree...

The theme song for December is Christmas and we’re at the last verse. It’s a bit sad for me to see the trees, cast aside on the edge of the road with a bit of tinsel still attached and blowing in the wind, or packed away, branch by numbered branch, in a box to be stored on a shelf until next year. The other decorations, hung with care months ago, are quickly extinguished and removed, stuffed onto shelves in dusty garages and warehouses, waiting for the next season.

A park with a light display. All the pictures are from there.

The opening arch.

The last thing to come down is usually the lights. I adore the lights. Growing up, we never had lights on our house that I remember. But my grandparents did. After many tiring miles of highway, the lights would twinkle a warm welcome to us weary travelers. Grandmother would meet us at the door with her customary, “Christmas Eve Gift” greeting.

A train.

All the presents were wrapped with care...

The lights were standard old time big bulb Christmas lights. Granddaddy climbed a ladder to hang them evenly along the edge of the roof. After the holiday he would climb that same ladder to take them back down. And in between, if a light bulb happened to go out, the ladder was ascended again. But it was imperative for them to come down. It was a big faux pas to leave Christmas lights up all year, even if you lived in the country!

Get the star on top!

A stocking full of goodies!

I’d be content for the lights to stay hung and lit all the time. It makes things seem more cheerful somehow. They disguise ugly buildings and light up bland, lifeless towns. They add a welcome glow to the doors and windows of common people, binding them together, regardless of beliefs, for one round of the hour glass. Lights celebrating Christmas have been a tradition for a long time. Originally candles were fastened to tree branches with a bit of melted wax or later, a candle holder. Eventually it became conventional to use electric lights as decorations, unattached to the tree, outside and inside of homes. Cities and towns, regardless of size, often have a central Christmas tree or at the least hanging decorations lining their streets with a cheerful glow. One of those silly holiday movies I like to watch said that it was a way to welcome home WWII veterans from their tours of duty. I don’t know but it sounds nice.

A nativity scene. This is the only part I could get in but it was complete.

When we go to the mountains we often see lights outlining storefronts and houses, regardless of the time of year, hanging down in a fake icicle configuration and glimmering in the wind. It’s both welcome and welcoming. It’s hard to describe but it just seems to add something.

A sugarplum cottage.

Old man winter? The only snow happening here!

Things change as the years progress. Personalities develop and relationships transform. Gone are the carefree children who played together and loved one another unconditionally. Gone are strong family connections. Gone is the gratitude for the season. The Christmas lights are going out, one at a time, slowly. But surely.

Beautiful arches.

We’ll pack up our decorations in a few days and take down the tree and store the pretty lights. But I think I’ll leave some out this year. I’ll string them across the mantle and leave them on as a welcome, for me. I’ll be reminded of Christmas past and remember the good times. And I’ll have faith for the good to come.

Never seem to shine so bright...

Christmas knitting wasn’t too stressful this year. I have a couple of things left to finish but they weren’t really presents so it doesn’t matter. I did finish a Gaptastic cowl, in a rainbow color, for my daughter-in-law. She liked it I know!

Gaptastic for Jenni.

 

The glow of love is all around us.
So twinkle on Christmas time...

Pretty Paper

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue… 

Have you ever played one of those ‘dirty Santa’ games at Christmas? You know, the kind where you can pick a gift then someone has the option to take it away if they like it? I don’t even think its fun. In fact, they can become brutal!

All the presents are there, waiting for the first person to pick. After serious scrutiny, the package that is wrapped the prettiest is chosen. But unwrapped, the gift inside is less than ideal.

There have actually been studies showing that nicely wrapped gifts set high expectations and magnify disappointment when the gift is less than perfect. It’s even been recommended that unexceptional wrapping can improve the joy of receiving even a wonderful gift because the wrapping won’t build up any false hope. Who knew? I’ve been wrapping correctly for years!

A long time ago we actually thought it was fun to go shopping the day after Christmas. We seldom had a specific article in mind but rather went for the amusement of finding a bargain. One of the things we usually picked up was wrapping paper. There was some kind of warped thrill in finding $4.00 a roll wrapping paper for fifty cents.

One year we found “Space Jam” paper at an after Christmas sale. “Space Jam” was one of those movies that combined cartoon characters with real people. Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan were the stars. By the time we got around to using it, “Space Jam” was available on tape (back then) and the kids didn’t even know who the man with Bugs was on that paper!

So you’ve probably gathered, I don’t spend a lot of time and money on the outside of the gift. But it’s not a bad thing, especially since it becomes trash the minute the present is opened! Not only do I usually not have the time but I don’t have the skill. Enter one of the best ideas ever. Besides my odd collection of wrapping paper, I now pick up gift bags and printed boxes on sale! It’s the greatest thing yet! Put whatever you want inside, stuff in or wrap tissue paper around and voila! It’s done!

Next time you get your choice of the wrapped presents don’t turn up your nose at the one that’s mediocre looking. It might be the paramount of surprises!

Wrap your presents to your darling from you…

I told you about the knitting Secret Santa exchange. I finally got all mine together and got it sent off. She liked it! Here’s what she said: 

"My box included Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's Free-Range Knitting, Mary Beth Temple's The Secret Language of Knitters, a skein of Manos del Uruguay in the most wonderful variegated reds with a little purple and brown. You could not have picked a better color to send me if I'd been with you when you bought it. I also found note cards, a list pad and cupcake cups from Mary & Co., a lovely tape measure from Vintage Impressions in an antique silver finish, a clip-on OttLite with 12 LED's with a peacock feather in purple on the cover, 3 patterns for fingerless mittens, a hat pattern, and the tiniest sweater from Lantern Moon...a key chain. There was also a lovely pumpkin spice candle which I know we will enjoy. Every item was wrapped in glittery tissue paper and tied with red ribbon." 

Secret Santa package going out.

It was fun and sounds like a lot more when it’s listed, but I’ll have to admit I went overboard. Did you notice she said every item was wrapped? ;)

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue.

Back to December

And I go back to December all the time…

Well, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! And it has been since before Halloween. It sure seems to come around fast these days. And here I am, with all the good intentions I had almost 364 days ago still in the planning stage or forgotten altogether.

One of these days when we come back to December, I’ll have an advent calendar ready. Of course I guess it will just be for Alan, but I’ll still have it ready. I did that once when the kids were little. Yes, you read it right; Once. And that once they really enjoyed it. It was just a little set of cardboard drawers I'd ordered from the Current catalog. Because there were three of them I wrote little poems and clues and put those in the drawers. At a certain time they would gather, receive the clue orally, and proceed to explore until the treasures were found. I didn’t think about it making an impression, but to this day all three of them still speak of the great fun they had with that project.

I saved it for next time, if that time ever comes!

There was a time I had all Christmas presents purchased and sometimes even wrapped in October. Possibly there were a couple of items left but the majority of things were done. Done. DONE! I didn’t know then how good that would feel today. I have started the gift shopping but nothing is wrapped. I did stock up on bags and pre-printed boxes. I know that’s probably cheating but it’s a life saver this time of year. But one of these days I’ll wrap everything and have it all under the tree BEFORE anyone gets to the house. Yes, one of these days.

One year all the presents were wrapped!

Baking and cooking is something I like to do. It’s also something I’m good at. I don’t do anything fantastic looking like what my daughter Callye does with her cookies but at least it tastes good, regardless. Most of the time anyway! I would scour my cookbook collection looking for something easy and good to bake. I’d come up with cakes, cookies, pies and breads. And they would all be ready to sample after stepping in the door. Not now. I’ll have plenty and nobody will be hungry, but it won’t be nearly the spread it has been in previous years. Maybe it will happen again, one of these days.

Yum! Buttermilk pie. My favorite!

Dinner fit for a family!

In the past I had more time. Seriously, more time off. And I had more energy to use that time in a productive manner. This year the last day of work before holiday break is December 21. That gives no days until the guests arrive on December 22. Granted, I don’t go back to work until January 3. That’s a good thing. But I could use more time up front to get things ready.

Maybe, if I start planning now, I can be ready for next year. Because before you know it we’ll be back to December. 

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright.

I’m in an online group of knitters. Every year we have a Secret Santa exchange. It’s so much fun! This year I got a wonderful package from mine, Carrie. She loaded a great project bag with yarn, stitch markers, a handmade Christmas dish cloth, and some Scentsy! A very nice December surprise indeed!

What fun!!

I go back to December all the time, all the time...

Snow Day

Open my eyes start to get out of bed. 

Throw back the curtains to see a white spread! 

I feel like I’m ten, it has snowed once again! 

Let’s go have some fun! The day’s only begun!  

The severe weather warnings started two days before the actual weather began. For once, all of the TV weathermen were in agreement. There was a chance of snow; A lot of snow. Out here, even if there is a 50% chance of anything there is a 50% chance that nothing will happen. If it does happen though, it usually makes an impact. On this day, almost ten and a half inches of the cold white stuff fell!

What a forecast!

The climate here is mostly considered desert. In fact, right now Texas is in a severe drought. Where I live there have been burn bans and water restrictions for almost a year. So, any kind of moisture is welcome. But, because snow is so uncommon, even a sprinkling can shut the area down.

Snow snow snow!

When my alarm went off at 5:30 it was raining. But it quickly turned to sleet. My husband works for a school district so he was out early, checking roads to make sure it would be safe for buses to transport students. I had a headache that wouldn’t quit so I called in to work and said I’d make it in by noon. Then I went back to sleep.

Snow covered trees at the house

Around 9:00 I woke up again. My phone dinged with a text and my husband said it was getting bad and he didn’t want me to go in to work. It’s a 45 mile drive for me, usually clear and easy but when it’s bad…it’s bad. I had a presenter who was supposed to be flying in so I emailed work and asked my secretary to call her. I was told we were closing because it was so bad. Soon the news reports, with all the early closings, were pouring in. It was official. It was a snow day!

Views from the front of the house

Views from the back of the house

The snow fell most of the day. We ended up with about six inches. It was so pretty and peaceful! Everything was covered in a shiny white carpet. Funny thing, it was snowing but the sun was beginning to come out and it was melting, all at the same time. I didn’t go outside, much anyway, and I didn’t build a snowman. I just enjoyed the chill in the air and the beauty of the change. I love when it snows, especially if I don’t have to get out. And I can wear knitted things!

About 5 inches and still snowing!

This is the third snow in a very short time. There are reports that there’s been more out here than in Chicago! As they say in Texas, if you don’t like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change! Sure enough, by the next morning, the road to work was passable. One lane of the highway still had icy spots but all else was clear. There were several signs of the storm on the interstate, skid marks, stranded cars and missing guard rails, but other than that it was a normal travel day. By afternoon there were places where you would never have known there had been a snow storm! Only the standing puddles were evidence of the wild weather the days before. On the third day, it was almost completely gone, melted into the ground. Maybe it won’t be the last snow this winter. We need any moisture we can get. Hopefully it will be enough to make spring a little greener!

Snow covered pump jack-Picture by Brook Hudson

I’ll see this through, I will turn my hands blue. 

Mister snowman, my heart is beating for you! 

I’m to the point that I’ll take a snow day (or almost any other excuse!) so as not to have to go to the office. When the kids were little we’d go out and play. But I don’t really like getting cold and wet anymore, so I just puttered around and entertained myself. I knitted, put away some Chirstmas, got some things ready for the trip on the weekend and just took it easy. There was a lot I could have done. I just didn’t.

Christmas yarn...what to make?

I got some really pretty yarn for Christmas, from Bryce and more from a friend, so I’ve been contemplating what I’ll make with it. Ravelry is a fun pastime. Then there is Pinterest. Yes, there was a lot I could have done on this snow day!

It’s a school day, school is closed. 

Gonna go outside and make a snowman there. 

Wanna join me in the field?

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh, Christmas Tree 

How lovely are your branches... 

What? Just a little late you’re thinking, right? Well, probably. But I didn’t get any pictures of the tree posted prior to Christmas. Our custom is to leave it up til after New Year’s Day and this year I had to go back to work on January 2. I was thinking I might never get it down when I remembered reading about the Twelfth Night.

Wasn't it pretty?

I’ve always thought, as probably a lot of people do, that the Twelve Days of Christmas meant the days before Christmas. Well, come to find out, it’s actually the twelve days after Christmas! In the olden days, the Twelfth Night to Epiphany morning was the traditional time to take down the Christmas tree and decorations. I’m not so behind after all!

Three cross stitched candy cane holders. Made by the mother of one of my former students, now a friend. Intricate.

Admittedly, I’m not always the most prompt in taking down the Christmas decorations. First off, it’s like the little red hen around here. I don’t get a lot of help, either putting things out or gathering them up after the holidays. Working 11 hours a day then doing it in my ‘spare’ time doesn’t always warrant a fast pickup. There have been some years the tree and decorations were up way past Christmas. In fact, I think it was around June last year when I spied a snowman (the tree was down at least!) I’d forgotten to put away. It doesn’t really matter because nobody comes out here so my secret is safe! Nevertheless, I was pleased to find out about Epiphany, even though I might stretch it out another twelve days!

My grandmother crocheted the ball ornaments. She said she didn't have a pattern and each one is just a bit different. The others are just an assortment of things I like.

I made this little angel years ago. She probably qualifies as an antique!

Can't see well but one of my favorites. One year I was supposed to get a rocking chair and it didn't come so my mom and dad gave me this ornament to let me know. Inside is a rocking chair, presents, doll, and toys.

Some family ornaments. There are many. And no, I didn't forget you Bryce and Callye! Camera acted up.

As I’m taking the ornaments off, putting them in their packages, in a box, for next year, I remember where each one came from. They are good memories but the whole ordeal has an air of sadness. This Christmas is over. We had a white Christmas this year and everyone came here. Those memories will go in the box with the special ornaments. I look at the individual baubles, those marking ‘first’ Christmas, those marking life events and those handmade with love. Some I made, some were gifts and some were put together by little hands in school. Our tree is decorated in patchwork. Each ornament is connected to the others in a crazy way creating a blanket of memories. I’ll pack the ornaments away and rediscover the delight next year when it all comes back out.  

It was a white Christmas!

Oh Christmas Tree, 

Oh, Christmas Tree 

Your gentle spirit teaches us. 

That peace and love shall ever be 

As faithful as a Christmas Tree... 

I’m almost finished with the shawl. She may have to do the blocking, but at least the knitting will be done. I really want to start something new. Or maybe several somethings! But I’m being good. So far!

On the downhill side! It'd go faster if I'd quit messing up!

The lace edge

I posted a status on Facebook and promised to make something for the first five people who commented. I got a lot, really fast, which surprised me. Anyway, I took all seven. I’ll be making something for Debi, Rachel, Marivel, Carla, Charli, Katie and Amy sometime during 2012. It’s kind of exciting! And it snowed today. That would make it all right to leave the snowmen out for a while. It sometimes even snows in February, right?  

In summer sun or winter snow, 

A coat of green you always show. 

Oh Christmas Tree, 

Oh, Christmas Tree 

How lovely are your branches.