Sunday, October 10, 2010

Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead

Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

Have you ever met someone who is just mean? Mean and even borderline evil? Someone who will do things to hurt people, not in a physical way necessarily, and get pleasure from the deed? I have.
As we go through life we’ll all run into mean people. They can be found anywhere; in the workplace, in the general public and sometimes, even at home. Why are they mean? Does it make them feel better about themselves? It seems to me that mean people are mean because of their own inadequacies. They have feelings of weakness, inferiority, or worthlessness, so they strike out to make themselves feel powerful. They use techniques such as dominating, lying to or bullying others. Their arsenal consists of harassment, mockery, and criticism. They search for ways to make people feel bad.

Meanness can disguise itself in many ways. Some people are mean in the pretext of being funny. The other night, while the miners from Chile were being rescued, I was watching television when David Letterman came on. I’m not a fan of any of the late night shows like that but the news had just ended and I hadn’t changed the channel. He started with his usual monologue. He made jokes about the miners. They had experienced such a traumatic event and he’s making fun of them. To me, it seemed like a really mean thing to do. Why I’m not a fan was reinforced and I changed the channel.
 There’s been a lot of coverage on the news lately about people being mean. Some incidents have led to fatal consequences. Bullying is also a regular headline. And don’t think there aren’t so called adults who aren’t bullies. Bullies are another kind of mean people. A bully can be male or female. They can be someone of equal or lesser status or a person in authority. They treat people in an overbearing manner and try intimidation to get what they want or to feel superior.

I ran across a website dealing with bullying. There was a lot of information on bullying in the workforce. I’m interested in that right now. One page talks about ‘serial bullies’. There is a bulleted list with characteristics of a serial bully, in the workplace, in this instance. There are many but I picked out some to share. Does this person work with you? I'm pretty sure they work with me!
  • is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
  • has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses
  • cannot be trusted or relied upon
  • has a deep-seated contempt of clients and coworkers
  • is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything
  • refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
Dealing with mean people on a regular basis can sap the life right out of you. If you don’t come up with a way to cope, your life can be miserable. Just remember that it’s not your fault. A mean person acts that way because of their own lack of self esteem. Being mean makes them feel superior and is the only way they know to think they are better. How can you deal with that? My first instinct is avoidance. I just avoid the person unless forced to deal with them. And then, I don’t deal with them alone. That may sound unprofessional or even chicken, but it saves a lot of anguish if there is a witness. It also intimidates the bully!

If all else fails, do what my mamaw always suggested. Be nice. It really shakes mean people up if you are nice to them. It will definitely catch them off-guard. It will be hard, but it's worth it to see them confused by your behavior. And you can laugh all the way back to your office. In the meantime I think I’ll just keep a bottle of water on my desk.

 Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.
She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

It’s fall! I don’t know if it’s the fall colors or just my moods but the knitayear looks fallish to me. Day 189, October 6, brought relief! A big training was pulled off successfully. I chose a goldish green ribbon. The hint of gold symbolized success, I won the prize! Day 190, October 7, was a busy day. There were three things at once going on. Or maybe four! I got my service award pin, something new at work, and it’ws in increments of five. I’m on my tenth year but because I haven’t finished I got a 5 year pin. Next year I’ll get my 10 year pin. Funny. I chose bright orange yarn because it seemed like a neon light flashing all that was going on. The next day, October 8, day 191, I was able to relax. I’d done all I was supposed to do but there’s always something going on in my job. I like it that way. I was digesting the news of a new boss. I think it will be a very good move for me. I finished a little shawlette/scarf and had a bit of yarn left. It’s a turquoise blended to brown. It reminded me of outside, at a lake or in the mountains, peaceful and relaxing. Day 192, I was feeling appreciated. I was babysitting so my daughter and son-in-law could celebrate his birthday. I brought things to cook and made soup, pumpkin bread and apple crisp. The little kids liked it all and so did the big ones. Alan and Junior came up and we all spent the night. I picked a reddish wool. It seems I’m still attracted to fall colors. A and J left early on day 193, October 10. I stuck around for a while, playing with the kids, getting some more food ready, trying to help out. It was a comfortable time and I’m glad I feel that way at their house. I picked dark olive green yarn. It reminded me of the forest and the calmness there. Calmness might not be the exact word for the chaos at their house but I felt good. Back to work on Monday to face another week. It will be a good week, hopefully and I’ll just remember that good triumphs evil, even if you do have to pour water on it.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.Let them know.
The Wicked Witch is dead!


  1. I get upset when I see bullying going on. I have a couple of bullys in my family which I'm thankful that I don't have to deal with anymore. I don't like David Letterman, never did.

    By the way, hello, I'm new to your blog. I've started knitting after not knitting for a few years. :)

  2. I hate mean people too. I was horribly bullied in school, and hate seeing anyone being mean or nasty. I totally agree with being nice back, that seems to take all the wind out of their sails, and leaves them with nothing to say. Works for me, anyway!

  3. @Pam...thanks for stopping by! I never watch Letterman and when he started in on the miners the other night it just made me sick! Glad to hear you're back knitting!

  4. @Sinead...It's sure hard to be nice sometimes when I want to do just what they do! But I won't lower myself to their level. Nice is fun sometimes, actually, just because it does surprise them so!

  5. DL is quite mean; we can't watch him at all and never could.
    Mean people must be so miserable.

  6. All of the opening dialog on the late night shows seems mean to me. I'm not sure what the attraction is. I watch re-runs of something else instead!