Remain Nameless

I wish to remain nameless 
And live without shame… 

I once had a discussion with a former supervisor. I had received a promotion of sorts and I asked what my title was. I was told I didn’t need a title. Surprised, I asked why. He said titles don’t mean a thing. When one did a good job people recognized that and titles weren’t needed. So I asked if I could call him Head Custodian instead of Superintendent. That’s when I found out that a title did indeed mean something!

In the end I got my title. It was some long, wordy, nonsensical jargon that was created in retaliation for my comment. (Do bosses retaliate? That could be another post for sure!) Anyway, when I was asked or wrote it down it was laughable. It couldn’t fit it into my elevator speech! An explanation was always needed for clarity.

As most people do, I changed jobs. According to statistics, these days people change jobs on the average, 11 times in a lifetime. I haven’t. In fact, I wasn’t expected to ever leave the one I had. But it was time. Departure also meant losing my trumped up title.

I realized quickly the new employment was a dead end position. That’s not to say it’s a bad job or that I have no ambition. The structure dictated the rules. There was one head honcho, one number two honcho and about five regular honchos. Then there were the worker bees. I was a worker bee.

I’m still a worker bee, and I do have a title along with all the other worker bees; the same one in fact. This title is short and means about the same as the fabricated title of yore; absolutely nothing. It fails to describe what I do for the company which is what I thought was the purpose of a title. In fact, couldn’t a clear job title describe a person's expertise with greater specificity, therefore explaining that person's role more clearly? Alas, it’s not to be.

Enter new management. New leaders bring change. The structure is basically the same but suddenly there are assistant regular honchos. How does one become an assistant regular honcho one might ask? Good question. The job posting/interview process is followed but it’s quite easy to spot the recipient. And if there are two favored recipients they become co-assistant regular honchos. They get titles like Co-Assistant Honcho of Creating Tasks or Assistant Honcho of Browning the Nose. Do I sound envious? Believe me. I’m not!

Lately there’s been the novel idea that it would be useful for everyone to know everyone else’s specialty in the organization. Could that not be accomplished with job titles that actually mean something? Maybe I should make a suggestion to the Assistant Honcho of Contemplation.

You can call me anything you want.
You can call us what you want.

If you’ve seen any news about America at all you know it’s been a tough week. First the senseless bombing in Boston then the tragedy of the fertilizer plant blowing up most of the small town of West, Texas. It’s stressful, even for spectators who aren't directly involved but view helplessly, the endless pictures on social media or listen to the newscaster offering ceaseless updates on situations that aren’t improving. Even if you’re far from the location you can’t help but feel the sadness and devastation of all those affected. And I knit.

This doesn't capture the bright orange color. Montego Bay Scarf.

There’s also some good. Like Mr. Rogers says, look for the good. People are being kind and generous to one another and helping each other to get through the turbulence. It makes me wonder why it can’t always be that way, just treating people as you’d like to be treated.

Cause what's in a name, 
Oh I still remain the same...

Evolution Orange...

Shining light,  

Now in sight.  

Evolution Orange. 

Wondrous flight,   

Now in sight.   

Evolution Orange. 

Oh boy! A present! With great anticipation she ripped the paper off and removed the lid. What was inside? Oh. Well. Um…thank you! That was so thoughtful! It’s an orange necklace! Bright orange! (Thinking…Kind of an ugly orange necklace at that.) A Joan Collins? Wow!

A Joan Collins! Thank you HSN!

Yes, that was me. And before you go thinking I’m an ogre, I did appreciate the thought. My mother kept things even if she didn’t like whatever it was, and even if she already had three. Why? Because it was a gift and someone put some thought (maybe) into getting it for you. So, because of my upbringing, I felt like I had to keep it. I just didn’t know what I was going to do with it!

I took it to show my fashion conscious work friend. We giggled. She liked it as much as I did. So I put it up where it stayed for about a year.

Maybe it will grow on me.

I like color. Actually I like all colors. But orange isn’t my favorite color. I don’t have a thing against orange. It makes me think of Halloween. I even have the right coloring to wear it if I want. But given a choice, I probably won’t choose orange. Bright orange is, well, cheerful. Like a clown.

Fast forward a year. Spring is in the air. Time for short sleeve shirts and bright colors! So shopping it is. I enter the store. What is the color of the season? Tangerine! Tangerine is just another word for orange in my book. It’s everywhere. I’m enveloped in a sea of orange! There are shoes, shirts, pants, jewelry…even underwear!

Tangerine? Orange? It's all the same to me!

Really, I’m just a little fashion conscious. And because I found something I liked, orangeish in color, I was feeling pretty stylish. I put together an outfit and accessorized! Well, actually, I got dressed, put on the orange shirt with something to tone it down and went looking for some kind of jewelry to wear. Lo and behold, there sat the ugly orange necklace! And it just matched!

This is the second shirt.

I wore gray, pants and a leopard print sweater and the orange shirt and necklace. I went to my fashion conscious work friend to ask a question and she got excited! “I love what you’re wearing! It’s perfect! And that necklace just matches! A great pop of color! Where did you find it?” she gushed. I gave her my Really??? look and told her it was the same one we’d made fun of last year. She said “Oh. Well it’s a lot better this year!!”

Feeling pretty good about it, I wore it again, this time with jeans. I happened to be with the person who gave it to me. She said, “Wow, I like your necklace. It just matches!” I said, “You gave it to me.” She looked at me and said, “I did?” She didn't have a clue. I gave her my Really??? look too. And I was worried?

So a couple of weeks pass and I have acquired another orangeish shirt. I wear it, and the necklace, in a completely different outfit, to work. I see my fashion conscious work friend. “Gee,” she said. “You wear that all the time now, don’t you?!”

Second shirt outfit.

Well, that might be the last time to wear it at work! Maybe, if the opportunity arises, I can put it on outside work, sometime. And maybe it will just go back where it was, resting; waiting for the next time Tangerine is the color of the season!

Just trust yourself.

Reach inside.

Have no hesitation,

Give no explanation.

You know who you are...

Evolution Orange. 

“Oranges poranges, who says, there ain't no rhyme for oranges!” I feel silly. I realize I’ve been saying I don’t really love orange. But I do love autumn and fall colors. And guess what? Orange is right there in the middle of it all! Maybe it’s the mix. And guess what else? I dug out some orange yarn I had! It was a gift from my secret pal and it was just there when I was looking for something else so I took it as a sign!

I started a simple shawl. I think that’s actually the name of it. How about Small Shawl. But I think I’ll take it out. I seem to have that problem lately. I’ll re-do, but I want it lacier. So I’ll use a bigger needle.

Small shawl in a fuzzy orange yarn. See other great projects here!

I finished another book. By the way, I’m not reading a book a week like it seems. I read a few during spring break. I do have a book going all the time, but I don’t have that much time to just sit and read. And I do have knitting going all the time so I think it still counts. Anyway, it was a simple read and entertaining. Called “Bone Appétit” , it’s a who-dun-it, set at a beauty pageant. It’s by Carolyn Haines and is part of a series, Sarah Booth Delaney mysteries. I don’t think I’ve read any of her others. Anyway, it was enjoyable with a lot of action. Sarah even has a ‘ghost’ who advises her, but not in the normal way, to keep things interesting. I’d read another if I get a chance.

Knitting and reading...if I could only do both at once!

Orange you glad it’s Friday!? I am!

Just trust yourself.

Look ahead.

Feel the motion growing,

Love is where it's going.

This is where our real journey starts...

Evolution Orange.

I'll Be There For You

It's like you're always stuck in second gear. 

And it hasn't been your day, your week, 

Your month, or even your year but… 

 I'll be there for you… 

Sometimes I’m late to hop on the bandwagon. Well, probably all the time. I haven’t read all the Harry Potter books. None of my jeans have holes in them, unless it was an accident. I eat gluten. I don’t know what gluten is exactly but I don’t search out gluten free items so I must eat it. I don’t know anything at all about Hunger Games and I probably won’t have any tangerine clothes unless it’s a holdover from years ago. (Oops! I got an orangy shirt and had a gifted necklace in tangerine…and they just match!)

What rhymes with orange?

Albeit 18 years late, I’ve found the greatest television show to watch. They call it “Friends”. It’s on Nick at Night, at a time I should be in bed, and also sometimes on TBS. Thank goodness for reruns! I’ll sit up late and giggle at the silly and even stupid things they do and say. Sometimes I laugh out loud then look around, self consciously, lest I wake my sleeping husband and he comes to see what I’m doing. I like some of the characters and I dislike others, depending on the episode. But mostly I wonder what it would be like to actually have a close group of friends like that.

 

I have friends. Just check my Facebook! But they aren’t really friends. If defined they would be classified as acquaintances. That’s someone who knows you, but doesn’t really know you. That’s not to say they don’t care about you. I know a lot who do. I have a handful of close friends, people who are really my friends, but it’s nothing like the TV show. In fact, my close friends probably know very little about me. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have friends I could share anything with.

I don’t know when but I guess sometime in my life I was scarred by a bad friendship. I’ve had people I trusted tell things they swore not to tell. I’ve been involved in political life games with people pretending to be your friend until they need something from you that you can’t give. I’ve seen posturing; who can be the smartest, the loudest, the most stylish, the coolest, the prettiest. I’ve been the victim more than once. And these are my grown up ‘friends’! I guess you could say I have trust issues.

I know that there are no ‘Golden Girl’ roomies in my future. And when the kids put me at Shady Pines I’ll be the little old lady sitting and knitting in front of the television set, probably alone. Come sit by me and we’ll visit.

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these 

Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought 

You down to your knees that... 

I'll be there for you...

I have this yarn that doesn’t want to be anything. It’s pretty, turquoise blue twisted with reds and yellows. I thought it would be a nice little something. So it was on the way to be a lacy scarf. It was pretty but it just wasn’t right. So it was ‘frogged’.

A little fuzzy in the picture but already unraveled

While I was thinking I read a book called “Mobbed”, by Carol Higgins Clark, one of Mary’s daughters. It is about a missing celebrity and a garage sale. How does that go together? Read it and see! Her books tend to remind me of Keystone Cops. There's lots of things going on all at the same time. After the book I tried to simplify things. I decided the yarn could be just a plain cowl. I finished again but alas, that didn’t work either.

Need a great read idea? http://www.gsheller.com/2012/04/yarn-along-71.html

Now it’s back to a lonely (little--110 yards) ball of yarn. I don’t know whether to try again, or not. Third time’s charm they say. But I’m getting tired of the little guy. I know he's disguised as something. What? I don't know yet. I think I’ll ground him. Maybe if he gets back in the yarn cabinet he can make a friend and they can go on a knitting adventure together when he can think of something he really wants to be…and I hope he lets me know! And if you have any ideas...you let me know too, okay?

Check out http://http://ourcreativespaces.blogspot.com/ for ideas!

Someone to face the day with.

Make it through all the rest with.

Someone I'll always laugh with.

Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah...

I'll be there for you...